The Gift that Keeps on Posting

Still scrounging for that last minute gift for the person who has everything except the decency to make a list? Well, for a mere $290, you can get Aunt Millie, cousin Nerdling, or Tad the paperboy a lifetime subscription to MyWill, an online service that will make sure that after they die their social networking sites are "handled."

A company in Sweden has determined that we the living shouldn't have to worry about what will happen to our online friends and followers once we've gone to the great Wifi-free zone. The company offers a basic service to deactivate up to ten Internet accounts and send five e-mails written in advance by the client:

"Dear Friends, If you are reading this e-mail, it is because I am no longer on this..."

SORRY, YOU'VE EXCEEDED YOUR WORD LIMIT, PLEASE TRY AGAIN

"Everyone. Died. Sorry. :("

But the better deal is the lifetime subscription with will provide "detailed management" of social networking. Just think, once you're gone, you can have MyWill continue to post on FaceBook and Twitter, and perhaps send a few funny YouTube links to your friends. I would so love to be on the MyWill team because I have some great ideas for posthumous posts:

"Jim has changed his status to 'undecided.'"

"Just sitting here waiting for stuff to happen. Same ol' same ol'."

"Snidely has sent you a pitchfork from 'Whose L'il Devil RU?" To accept and send a pitchfork back..."

"You'll never believe who I saw today! Michael Jackson!"

"Helen is now following Buddha, Ra, and Zeus, just in case."

"Norman was tagged in the photo album, "Guess What I'm Coming Back As?"

"Yes, that was me standing behind you, breathing on your neck as you texted your new girlfriend last night. A little soon, don't you think?"

"Guess what, Achmed? That whole 72 virgins thing was a lie!"

Heck, I'm having so much fun, I tell you what. If you would prefer to keep your hard-earned U.S. dollars in the U.S., I'll provide this service for a mere $289 a year. And, as a bonus, the people on your holiday list don't have to die first. If they've got the flu, are feeling a little blue, or are just too damned lazy to keep up with their online social obligations, I'm there for them. Please specify whether they'd prefer to keep or lose their friends and followers.

Happy holidays!